Shining a light on domestic violence
Men suffering domestic abuse at the hands of partners and wives was the subject of a recent sobering online event hosted by the trust.
One of the guest speakers was Richard Spencer who suffered domestic abuse at the hands of his wife for more than two decades before a friend alerted the authorities.
Richard, who appeared on the TV show My Wife, My Abuser, said abuse started as condescending remarks and escalated to physical attacks including being punched, kicked, slapped, and having things thrown at him.
“Each attack was followed by periods of calm and I ended up just getting through each day with no thought of the future.
“A lot of people still think the idea of a woman being able to hurt a man isn’t something to be taken seriously and abused men come up with all sorts of excuses to justify their other half’s behaviour.
“I became estranged from my family, was worried that the authorities wouldn’t believe me and, wrongly, believed my wife would change as she was always remorseful after an attack.
“My advice to anyone putting up with this sort of abuse, male or female, is not to justify it, shrug it off or think that you are to blame.”
The presentation also highlighted a soldier, who has served in Afghanistan and Iraq, terrorised by his wife and NHS manager Gareth Jones who lost four-and-a-half-stone and was not allowed to shower or use the toilet without his partner’s permission.
A survey by the Charity SafeLives reported more than 50,000 NHS staff have experienced abuse in the past year with nurses three times as likely to experience domestic abuse.
The trust is hosting a programme of learning sessions covering under-recognised aspects of domestic abuse called the Spotlight Series: shining a light on hidden harms.
The 23 topics include coercive control, stalking, older people and domestic abuse, forced marriage, and domestic abuse within LGBTQ+ and disabled communities, among others. If you are suffered abuse and need advice and support, please contact:
• Brent
• Harrow
• Ealing
The talks also featured the Mankind initiative who provide information and signpost men to relevant support services.